Some thoughts on worship

15 years or so ago a woman, about my age, came into my office seeking advice about her life. I'd married her to a man a few years earlier, but that relationship had ended soon after the honeymoon. As it turned out, most of her adult relationships went that way. So, knowing this, I asked why she wanted to see me?

As the tears flowed, it turns out, all her relationships began to go to shit when she was 6 years old, and she was told she was not a good enough daughter to come to this church by her mother's friends. Apparently, the women who sat around her family in Sunday worship would pick on this girl pretty much every Sunday in her memory. Not other kids, grown women. This girl wasn't abused by a bad father or uncle, but by her mom's friends who for some reason thought they were "helping." They weren't.

One day, visiting a congregation to hear a friend preach I sat behind two ladies who spent the entire time during the sermon commenting on other ladies in the church. During the offering I tapped them on the shoulder and asked, "I'm just visiting here, how much do you charge for worship?" They told me, "Oh, church is free." I nodded, and said, "Then, how much for the gossip?" My friend went to find a better congregation a few months later.

My wife is a preacher, and she had just started at her new congregation, and I hadn't been introduced to the folks of this congregation yet as the new pastor's husband. So I sat in worship, and during the sermon of her colleague, I listened to a brother and sister literally use the F-word to each other arguing about who "had" to take care of "mom" this week. As we left worship, I mentioned to them that brothers and sisters don't have to like each other, but their mom has the third commandment. They may want to think about that.

I figure I have been to over 6000 worship services during my life. And many of them I am not in the congregation, but rather leading from the front, often from the pulpit. But I am generally scared to worship out in the "nave." (That's where the congregation sits in the room.) Scary shit happens out there.

I only have one piece of advice for people who dare to go to worship. Don't be an idiot. Don't try to parent the children who aren't yours. Don't try to use worship to solve your issues, but rather use the time to solve you. Listen to the people around you. Prayer is a time to hear God, you may want to listen?

I assume most people come to worship to participate in the life and being of God. We want to figure out how we can be part of a God's preferred future for the world. We want to make a difference. And worship can--and does--do that. But sometimes some of us forget, and we treat worship like any other hour of the day or week. It's probably not the end of the world if that happens every now and then, but worship can be  much more..I hope it is for you.

May your table be full and your conversations be true.